Ten rules for dating my daughter t shirt
Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.However, in order to ensure that your clothes do no, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight.
Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi.
Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me.
You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.
Whatever you do to her, I will do to you I have this vision of a world where everyone was armed with a Tazer and everywhere was a free fire zone; someone pisses you off, ZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTT!!!